Amber Volakis

You'd think it wouldn't be possible for a town like this one to have so much trouble going on. I can't remember it ever being like this when I was younger. Maybe I just didn't notice it then, being a child.

( Private to James Wilson )

Long days are keeping me busy, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm just uncomfortable with the idea of not having anything to do. I like to keep busy, I like to be able to use my brains and my hands. What's the challenge of a lazy day? Of having no work to do? (Though of course, if you're good at your job there should always be plenty to do - especially if you have my job).

This evening, the spring cleaning begins in my apartment. I have clutter to get rid of, windows to wash, closets to clean out. I actually like the process. I like feeling pro-active, I like keeping my own space under control. I assume I'm not the only one who does this.

Back at work today, and everything seemed to go as well as it possibly could. I'm home and more tired than usual, but I'm not entirely dead or completely pained, so it could have been much worse. I think going and working actually worked. I've had a lot on my mind since last week, and not all of it I understand, so the distraction of an honest day's work is always going to help. I feel better now, more like myself. More like normal.

I just wish I could get the other "ladies" of the secretarial pool to stop insisting on gossiping around me. I don't care how scandalous they think the various news of the day might be; it isn't. No one cares about your infidelity or your secret exploits. No one cares that you had one too many wine coolers over the weekend, least of all me. I would think that was obvious.

Finally, I feel a little more like I own my body again. I ache, and I feel lightheaded, but I'm much more cogent than I have been. Now all I have to do is be much better by the time Monday comes around, because I'm going to be back at work then, no matter what.

James Wilson, if you're reading this, I wouldn't mind some company. Hearing that opera/monster truck rally comparison is something I could actually sit still for this weekend, if you have time.

( Private )

Having cleared it with my boss, it looks like I'm going in for some minor surgery tomorrow (no, it's not cosmetic, and no, I won't tell you what it is - my medical history is hardly the business of the town, is it?), so for a day or two I'm going to be unreachable.

Note to self: call mother, have her take me home from hospital.

I've been working all day on painting my kitchen. The light in the room is distributed unevenly from the window above the kitchen sink and it looks as though I have two very slightly different shades of color on the wall depending on where you stand. No amount of extra coating will fix this, so I guess I'll have to try strategic lighting. I'd definitely prefer that than going back to the hardware store for a color consultation. When I stopped in to pick up the paint, they did their best to be hostile and condescending. Heaven forbid a woman paint her own kitchen - though of course they loved that the room I was working on was a kitchen.

I can't stand that immediate, cliched perception of a woman in a hardware store. Thank you, I know what I'm doing, I know what I want, and I don't need an employee to explain to me that I'll need rollers/trays/etc. I might be a woman, but I'm not stupid, and the actual application of the paint looks good so far. If I can fix up the shading or find a way around the problem, I'll be done with a top coat tomorrow morning.

Amber Volakis. Legal secretary (the best you'll ever meet).

Anything else you need to know? Notice the word need, not want.

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